Nerdgasm

Make sweaty love to the English language. Use props: Pens and such.

This is in direct response to Jen’s posting on Mine Künstlerroman: Writer In the Making.

Here are a few of my favorites:

The Uniball Signo 207 clicky-top pen. Regardless of brand, the pen has to be a clicky-top, not a twisty-bottom. The Uniball writes much smoother than most comparable pens and Staples sells refills. And it’s a Lance Armstrong joke. My only real gripe with it is the ink takes forever to dry, allowing for frequent smudges. This is because it is a special blend, designed to be resistant to fading and washing in an effort to thwart identity theft. So don’t let your girlfriend accidentally leave one in her apron when she does the wash, ruining your favorite Flogging Molly shirt your dad bought you when you took him to that concert for his birthday. That would suck. As an added bonus, if you use the same casing for long enough, the pen will start ejecting its guts when you click it hard enough. This may frustrate you, but I find myself keeping it on me at all times in case someone needs to borrow a pen.



I don’t have a murse, nor do I carry around my checkbook, so I usually keep this pen in my pocket. This renders an additional pen unnecessary. But I imagine I would get a little tingly over the possibility of using, for example, an astronaut pen.


My pencil of choice is the Pentel Twist Ease 0.7 mechanical. I once sat for an entire semester by a girl who also used this pencil, which means neither of us had the balls to make any sort of move. Clean, simple, and well built, this is a true writing tool:



Most mechanical pencils look and feel like toys you’d buy at Walgreens. This one has weight to it, but not enough to make writing a labored event. Smooth and round, there are no rough edges, save for the removable metal clip. The rubber grip is substantial, but not too bulky. Overall, it is very comfortable. And like the Uniball, it’s a clicky-top. I’m not a fan of having the clicky piece down where you hold the pencil. It’s uncomfortable, it gets in the way and it allows for accidental clicking at inopportune moments. It is sold in a handy two-pack with two eraser refills, though you probably won’t need them. I’ve used these since high school and replaced one eraser. Often a low point of mechanical pencils, this eraser is the light gray, semi-gummy type you usually buy in the form of little, 1 inch by 2 inch bricks that completely remove the mark without leaving smudges and last at least long enough for you to lose them. With one of these anchored to the top of your pencil, you’re pretty much set for a good long time. Being Scottish, this excites me:



In case you’re wondering, twisting the top part makes it longer.

If I had a pen company, I would name it 15.

Faber Castell Pitt Artist brush pens. Colored pencils are fun and all, but brush pens are really where it’s at. Recommended by Julia Wertz of The Fart Party, I bought my niece a crap ton of these for Christmas. I then bit my nails, sat on my hands and did whatever else I could to keep from pocketing a few when she went for more olives.



Wertz also recommended the Rotring Art Pen, which I imagine is quite nice for sketching. I used it to write a few giddy words on a Post-It before putting it back in its case and wrapping it for my niece.


Now that we’re onto the subject of fancy shmancy pens, my mom bought me what I think is a Sheaffer Agio fountain pen. Short and about as thin as a standard wooden pencil, it’s a bit effeminate. But she had my name and graduation date engraved into the cap, so I effing love it.



Aww. He loves his mother.

No, you idiot. He’s just really conceited.

Now hopefully these companies will send me free shit.